Just Because You Have to Laugh Sometimes

So recently, diabetes has just made me laugh. I've had it for going on 14 years, and after being frustrated and angry and all of those bad emotions, sometimes it's good to laugh, right? Right. Like most situations, you can usually find some type of comic relief in diabetes. Nine times out of ten I find it from my own stupidity or boredom during lows. But hey, whatever works right?

For example, the other day around 2 am my pump starts alarming that I'm out of insulin. "Super" was my initial thought as I made the long walk to the refrigerator. After grabbing everything I needed (still half asleep) I continue the process of changing out the insulin cartridge, like I've done how many times (2008 times but who's counting anyway?).

So anyway, since it was in fact 2 am and I was losing precious sleep time, I tried to rush the process. For some reason the cartridge wasn't going into my pump so I just jammed it in and closed my pump, primed, and went back to bed. For those of you who don't know what priming is, it is a process when you tell the pump to give insulin to check and make sure the tubing and everything is working.

When I wake up the next morning, my blood sugars are in the upper 300s and I have ketones. I go to correct the high, and then I started smelling insulin, which isn't normal. I go to check the cartridge, and sure enough, genius here cracked the insulin cartridge. I was not aware, nor were any of my other diabetic friends, that these insulin cartridges crack. We've all decided I should become an insulin pump product tester, and Hannah-proof everything from this point on. Moral of the story, don't rush the cartridge changing process at 2 am.

I think all the best moments of diabetes come early in the morning. Like challenging Ryan Locthe to a juice pouch drinking contest (20.5 seconds, Ryan. Bring it.), solved the whole 2012 Mayan calendar scandal (it already happened people...leap year wasn't invented yet), and most importantly I discovered that 2 boxes of sweet tarts, a tasty cake, and a juice pouch does in fact bring your blood sugar up to 395. Without my late night lows, life would be miserable.

On a side note, did we all know that one tablespoon of nerds fits the 15 grams of carb when your low? And if you take your old test strip canisters and fill them with nerds that's a tablespoon? Because I didn't and my life just got SO much better. Thank you Pinterest.

-Hannah
 

On Moms and Ex-boyfriends

I'm going to start this post out with a disclaimer. I love my mother. I really, truly completely love my mother. Anything I say here to make you feel otherwise is just me being sixteen and her being her age. See, I love her so much that I won't even reveal her age on the internet! Yay!

Today is Monday. I hate Mondays, but not for the reason most people may think. On three Mondays out of the month, I have after school activities that I absolutely love. And plus, I have all my classes on Mondays (usually I have three long period classes a day). So that means there's usually a lot of homework. I'm just usually a grump on Mondays because I'm always so freaking busy.

This weekend, I had my diaversary party on Friday. It was the most fun thing in a long time, and it was completely worth it. I had a great time, and I can't believe that it's been fifteen years since I was diagnosed, and I'm only sixteen. So that was Friday night. And my friend Aquene slept over, and it was so much fun :) We're insanely weird.

So Saturday morning after bringing her back to school (because she lives there) I sat on my ass, and ate cake. That's literally all I did. I ate cake, brisket, and a microwave burrito, and watched movies. It was probably the single most unproductive day in sixteen years. Like, seriously. At about 11:30pm, SNL with Seth Macfarlane was on, and I flipped my burgers. I love Seth Macfarlane, and I love SNL, so it was pretty much the best thing ever. I also decided that doing my lab report at midnight on Saturday/Sunday was a fantastic idea. So I did a bunch of my lab report, and that was done. I also made that video, and posted it before going to bed at around 3am.

Got up at 8ish, and did my homework. Now, when I say I "did my homework" read that I "did the bare minimum of homework to be able to get through class on Monday."Which made sense, because I had to shower and we were going to see family later that afternoon. Which was awesome. My cousin Max is four and a half months old, and he's so adorable. I love that kid to pieces.

He is just such a cutie :) But we saw him, as well as other family, and it was just such a good day. So it was completely and totally worth it. But there's one thing I didn't have a chance to do this weekend. And that's laundry.

Now I'm gonna come right out and say I'm freaking insane. I am VERY particular about how my laundry is done. I actually take some small amount of joy out of doing laundry. I'm THAT weird. Like seriously. I wash things particularly. Some stuff gets fabric softener, some doesn't ever get it, and some only gets fabric softener of a certain smell. I fold them in a certain way, too. When my mother decides to be "helpful" (read: OCD) and fold everything, and come and put everything in my room, I freak. I mean, legitimately freak. "WHY ARE YOU PUTTING MY LAUNDRY AWAY?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? I'VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES JUST LET ME DO IT!"

Most normal, properly functioning people would just let it happen. They would be like, whatever, she's doing it. I'll do it next time. Not me. I have to do it all, from start to finish. My closet is color organized by sleeve length for crying out loud. You'd think she'd just leave it alone. But tonight, she did my laundry. I was planning on doing it myself, but she just jumped on it before I had the chance to. And even though I had a shit-ton of homework (yes, a shit-ton. It's an actual unit of measurement in my universe), I wanted to do it myself. I would've stayed up until 3am again just to be able to do it myself. I am just so particular about that one thing, and my insanity got the best of me. 

And after I had cooled down a little, I saw this tiny, little bump in my blood sugars. It wasn't something like, I went from 125 to 434 in two minutes flat. I went from about 100 to 140 in fifteen minutes, and then in another thirty, after I had cooled down, I was back down to around 110. I just had to laugh at myself, because who the hell gets that worked up over laundry?!

And then in comes the ex-boyfriend. I really would prefer he didn't talk to me. After all, he's kind of the world's biggest toolbox, and if I ever see him in the flesh, someone is going to need to tazer me because I am about 99% sure I would walk right up to him and smack him across his face. Nothing against his face, just him. And he knows I really want him to spontaneously combust, or for gravity to stop working just especially for him. I really wish he'd respect that. Like, at this point, it's not even an issue of him talking to me, it's just the flat out disrespect he has for my feelings. But whatever, he's a toolbox. 

He contacted me today, and I'm pretty sure if I didn't have the fan blowing in my room I would've singed the sheets. He just makes my blood boil. And my sugar did a really sharp spike when he talked to me. LIKE I REALLY NEEDED THAT. I was cruising nicely at 132 (I checked Bentley before I checked my facebook mail) and about 10 minutes later, I was 263! Which, naturally made me even more mad. So I sort of rage bolused. I put the number into the bolus wizard, and so it was a correctly calculated rage bolus, but it could've taken care of itself like the rage bump earlier in the evening, then I would've been up a creek without a paddle. And that's always awesome. 

Anyways, that was my Monday. I maintain that Monday's suck. My favorite days of the week are Wednesdays and Saturdays because Jenna Marbles makes videos on Wednesdays, and Katelyn and I skype every Wednesday to watch them together. Saturdays because I can sleep in nice and late, and stay up really late as well. It's just something I like to do, like most teenagers. 

Have a great week everyone! I'll see you later this week. I'll post about something happy, too. Maybe I'll even do a cooking video this weekend. Or one of me changing my sensor. Weeeeeeeee!

Much love, 

Alexa

DIABETIC CALL TO ACTION

I was going to write a great blog post about a diaversary party I had on Friday because it had been fifteen years that I'd had diabetes. But something else came up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvubyoR2XnQ

THIS CAME UP.

This guy (under the alias of Professor Cramulus) made a video entitled "DIABETICS ARE ASSHOLES."

This lunatic sits there with a ridiculous fake mustache and a pipe, and says things that are untrue about diabetes and diabetics in general. He sits here and insults PWD and frankly makes me want to punch him in the face. But that would be unladylike, so I'm going to settle for an all-out internet brawl.

I invite you, people with diabetes and your mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, pet fishes, and anyone else you can think of to make a youtube video. Just sit in front of a camera, or have someone record you. Send it to me and I'll post it up on my youtube channel that I'm going to link with this blog. Or, if you'd like to, upload it to your own youtube channel and post it as a response to this raving lunatic.

This man-boy-child needs to be stopped. This is absolutely inexcusable. Make these politically correct, and if you're planning on sending them to me, make sure they don't involve any "swear words." Unless you want to call him professor asshole. I will allow that.

This makes me utterly sick to my stomach, and he needs to be stopped. I've put my response below, and you can do what you'd like. I just talked to my computer, and then edited out all the mistakes. I don't care who you know, who you are, or how you found this blog. You should post the video and make this happen.

I can't stand people like this one iota. I wish I could single-handedly make things better, and make him less ignorant. But I can't. I need your help. There's one thing I don't want you to do, though.

Do NOT flag his video. If we flag it, and it gets taken off of youtube, we have none of this. We need to kind of do what we did to Joseph Kony. We need to make this guy sort of famous. He needs to know what he did was wrong, and that the way he went about saying what he had to say was wrong. So please, leave the video alone, but post your own.

Angry love,
Alexa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtLqZ79U5dQ&feature=youtu.be

View it. Make it popular. We can make this happen.

Sometimes You're the Windshield, Sometimes You're the Bug

     I like to think that I have a fairly positive outlook on my life with diabetes. I don't complain a lot about it. I do things "normal people" do. I eat, sleep, run, do yoga, go to school, go to the movies. You know, normal stuff. I think the only thing I don't do is consume copious amounts of sugared energy drinks, which probably isn't a bad thing. Overall, my life isn't always terrible because of diabetes. Except for those days where diabetes just drives me crazy for no apparent reason. Those days I just want to sit in my room with a bucket of Ben & Jerry's and watch Arrested Development on Netflix all day. Then I realize that eating Ben & Jerry's by the bucket would probably equal to about 800 million grams of carbohydrate and that makes me even more upset. Because that sounds like a perfect way of coping right???

     I mean really, I try not to complain about having diabetes. I do all those cool things listed above to prove that I run diabetes, and it doesn't run me. But sometimes diabetes catches up to me and says "Hey lady you're still stuck with me!"and then alarm on my pump will start screaming at me that I'm out of insulin. Days like that drive me crazy. I guess when it really bothers me is when I actually sit there and start changing insulin cartridges and realize that I have to take 5-10 minutes out of my day every other day to do that, when I could be doing something else. Or when I clean out the waste basket in my room and realize that there are more test strips in the basket rather than a legitimate piece of garbage.

     What are you supposed to do on days like that? Diabetes is apparently a non-refundable thing, and re-gifting is out of the picture as well. The one thing that keeps me going is supportive friends and family. And the appropriate serving size of Ben & Jerry's. And insulin, that helps too. So that's my venting session for the night.  Hope everyone else is having a fabulous week. On the plus side, Fall is coming and that means I have a legitimate excuse to wear yoga pants and boots in public without feeling like I'm in my pajamas. (:

Hugs,
Hannah

"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together." -Liz Taylor

These are the words of a true woman. Of course, at my age, minus the "pour yourself a drink" part.

I don't know what it is, but I've been having some emotionally rough days. I'd like to just say I've got the end of summer blues, and am anxious about my junior year, or my diabetes, or something. But I think it's a lot deeper than that.

I've never been good with emotions. And by emotions, I mean my own emotions. Sure when I'm sad I cry, and when I'm happy I laugh, but that's about all I show on the outside about my own emotions. I've gotten really good about hiding my own emotions and helping my peers--and sometimes adults in my life--sort through their own emotions. I've learned to ignore my own, and I can't tell you why I thought this was an important skill to have. It's something I just picked up from somewhere.

I'm stressed. I'm terrified to start my junior year, and I feel like this is it. If I screw up this year, I can't go anywhere and do anything that I want. It's this pathological fear of failing. I think I get it from being an only child. If I had myself a sibling, then maybe I'd be able to not only have a partner in crime with my parents and continue torturing them in even more fun and exciting ways than I can solo, but I'd also have someone to fall back on if I mess up, or if I need help. People always tell me how lucky I am to be an only child, but I'm pretty sure it's the biggest curse in the entire world.

My A1c is getting way better, but for anyone who is reading and their A1c is high, don't make the only reason that you get your A1c down is so your mom will leave you alone. She doesn't leave you alone. Every time my blood sugar is over 150 (WHICH IS NOT THAT HIGH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) she threatens me with "Do you want a shot in the eye?" We recently found out a therapy for diabetic retinopathy is getting shots in your eyeballs. And so that's the newest threat. It was "You're never gonna have kids." before that, and before that "Fine, you can just lose your kidneys/eyes/feet/hands/toes/fingers/any other body part imaginable." I understand where she's coming from, but at the same time it drives me up the wall, and makes me feel terrible about myself. I feel like I can't tell her what my blood sugars are anymore, and when I do tell her on the off chance that they're good, she thinks I'm lying. And yes, I know you're thinking "Ugh, why doesn't she just talk to her mother, things will get better." Believe me, I've tried. She's just stubborn, as I am, so not a lot gets done through that.

My life is nothing short of amazing. And it's nothing short of utterly confusing either. I keep trying to reassure myself that I'm only sixteen, and things will get better. I've been dealt a very mature hand in life, and I just had to grow up a lot earlier than my peers. I hope they catch up sooner or later, because this waiting around stuff totally stinks.

 So back to the words of Liz Taylor. This woman was and is still today a genius. Her words sometimes prove to be more true than I ever thought they would be. Sometimes in life, you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with the crap you're being fed. And as a firm believe that lipstick can completely turn your day around, and if you just grin and bear it things will get better. So, my dears, if you're having a bad day, just remember:

"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together."

Much love,
Alexa

I SWEAR I CAN EAT THAT! And Other Troubles of a Diabetic Teenage Girl

This back surgery thing sucks. Like, REALLLLLLLY sucks. I'm sitting at home alone most of the time, and I'm at the point of recovery where I could drive, but I don't have a permit or a license because my mother didn't want me doing Driver's Ed during the school year, plus my A1c was a little high. So I can't exactly go anywhere or do anything at this point. Which sucks. I've been watching Say Yes to the Dress and pretty much every spin-off series that has resulted from it. So now I'm kind of addicted. IT'S SO GOOD THOUGH. I'm sorry, it's a consequence of being confined to the couch.

I bought candy though. See? Candy!

These are really my all time favorite candies. You obviously know what the Cotton Candy Pop Rocks are, so there's really nothing to explain there. The pile of purple and brown candy is salt water taffy. The purple is a Gig Harbor flavor, Huckleberry. I love berries, and Huckleberries are a big Gig Harbor thing, I've come to understand. The brown flavor is Root Beer Float, because let's face it. Root beer is fabulous. I also have root beer flavored gum, and I recommend that to EVERYONE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. Just sayin'. On the right, are four cherry Zotz. And those are freaking delicious semi-exploding candies. There are a few different flavors that are great, but cherry is my favorite :) Then Halva. Halva is basically candied bars of sesame seeds, and they're SO GOOD. It's a delicious candy, and I have an affinity for sesame seeds.

And yes, I can eat everything that is sitting on my kitchen counter. Not all in one sitting, because that would make me sick. But that would make anyone sick, diabetes or not. I hate when people say "You can't eat that. It's got sugar."

I KNOW IT HAS SUGAR, EINSTEIN. I READ THE LABEL 23438234098324 TIMES BEFORE I EVEN DECIDED IF I WAS GOING TO EAT IT OR NOT. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING MY BRAIN, BECAUSE MY MOTHER DOESN'T DO THAT ENOUGH.

Another thing. My blood sugar seems to spike when I come into contact with my ex boyfriend. He and I split on good terms, and then he started hiding things from me. Any of my "friends" who hide things from me get the boot, and he's no exception, especially because I was basically wasting my time around him. He didn't take it so well, and he still tries to contact me, even to this day. I kicked him to the curb in February. It's kind of ridiculous. He makes my blood boil, honestly. And he can't take a hint.

Blood sugar spiked to 345 when I got an email from him this morning. In about 20 minutes, I went from 128 to 345. I MEAN REALLY, DIABETES!? COME ON. I already hate the experience, do I really need a high blood sugar on top of that?! It made me frustrated. But oh well, things happen. Gotta make it work. That's kind of how my life has been lately, really. Things happen, and you just gotta make the best of it all.

Much love,
Alexa

Bleurghpiffle. Life just sucks.

So I feel like life has decided to smack me in the face. I've been pretty miserable since Thursday because Thursday was just a miserable day. I woke up, and found out that I won't be allowed to be a CIT at camp this year. Camp starts tomorrow, and I've spent about 50% of today crying because camp is my life.

This is diabetes camp. I've been going since I was three years old. I've been a CIT twice, once for the 3-6 year old boys, and once for the 9&10 year old girls. I love doing it, and this year would've been my 13th year. So, you know, there's that. I understand why I'm not allowed to go, seeing as I'm barely three weeks off back surgery, and kids can't jump on me, and if I fall over, I'm toast. With jam. (Sidebar: My new catch-phrase is "that could've ended poorly" in reference to me stumbling over curbs, rugs, stairs, my own feet, and of course, air.) So it makes sense. But I'm still really really REALLY ReAlLy rEalLy super SUPER bummed. I honestly have no idea what I'm gonna do with myself, seeing as all the people I wanted to see are going to be knee-deep in campers while I sit at home, staring at a wall, thinking "I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally need to do my summer reading. Like, now."

Also on Thursday, I had a post-op appointment. Let's preface this story with a clarifying statement. I did not have a pediatric doctor for this surgery. What happened to me doesn't really happen to normal(ish) sixteen year old girls. It happens to adults. Therefore, I had to see an adult doctor. ALRIGHT. Back to the story. So, post-op appointment. First of all, it was called for 11:15. I didn't see the doctor until about 11:55. And as we all know, I've got a bad case of "Only Child Syndrome." My friend Matt, from Store-A-Tooth (I'll inform you about them in a future blog post, I promise) is an only child. And he informed me of this problem I have, Only Child Syndrome. Seeing as that's the case, I HATE BEING MADE TO WAIT. And I sat there, for 40 minutes, waiting for a doctor who I hate.

Now, this man could've been Batman, or Molly freaking Weasley before I had my surgery. I didn't care WHO was operating on me, as long as the pain was gone. And the pain was gone relatively quickly. And now, I'm looking for some bedside manner. And of course, I didn't get any. This guy talks to me like I'm five years old, plus, he asked to see the cut on my back, and he just ripped the bandage off and started touching. No warning about what he was going to do, and when I asked for him to wet the tape around the bandage (it makes the bandage easier to take off, and way less painful), he didn't even respond.

I get it. Adult doctors aren't as gentle as the pediatric ones, and I'm probably his first "young" patient ever, but holy crap. Can we have a little compassion for the sixteen year old who is just having the worst day ever?! When he did that, I nearly jumped into my mom's lap. Like, all composure went straight out the window. It just wasn't happening.

It was probably the most traumatic day of my entire summer. Including surgery day. And on top of all of that, I was getting TOTALLY FREAKING STIR CRAZY sitting at home having nothing to do but watch Futurama on Netflix and text Katelyn (who, by they way, was an AMAZING sport throughout the beginning two weeks of recovery. She listened to me whine, complain, and be a total pain in the butt about being confined to my house).

I made Dad drop me off at the movies, and I went by myself. And then I had a GF cupcake. Which, by the way, was delicious. Drowning my self-pity and worst day ever in Chocolate-Peanut Butter cupcake and Ice Age 4 was probably the best idea ever. So the day was saved.

Much love,
Alexa

I'm Back, Baby!

Hello, World!

First, I want to apologize for not being on this thing since forever! Life, diabetes, boys, and school got in the way and finally I'm back in business. (Much thanks to the lovely Miss Alexa for blogging up a storm in my absence.) Since I've been gone I grew 1/4'' (5'3...finally!) had a few knee surgeries, passed 10th grade, and finally got my permit (test your blood sugar before you get in the car, kids).

I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about for my first post back. I've had a few interesting stories since I've been here. But when I think about all of the best stories, they come from FFL this year. This was my first time going back since 2010, due to an ACL tear literally the week before. I'm still partially torn, but I was back to frolicking around the World Marriott with some old and new friends this year.

The Friends for Life conference is literally the ONLY week where diabetes is cool. Almost all of my friends from FFL have diabetes, so it's nice to be able to share complaints about highs and lows, rather than ranting to your non-diabetic friends who still think you can't eat a brownie. And even those friends that don't have it, still get it because they're connected to someone who has it. It's almost weird, going from a world where I'm the only diabetic around to this conference filled with thousands of people who either have, or know someone who has diabetes.

Okay, getting off the soapbox for now about how absolutely fantastic the Friends For Life conference is. More soon!

Hugs,

Hannah

The Olympic Games

So I love the Summer Olympics. Honestly, it's one of the best TV events ever. The Winter Olympics are alright, but the Summer Games make me more patriotic than 4th of July and Canada Day (I'm Canadian, too :P). There are a few things I love about the games, and here's what they are:

I love the Parade of Nations. Personally, I get a little nostalgic for Greece, and love watching them lead the parade. Probably because I'm half-Greek, and I was in Athens right before the 2004 Summer Olympics. There, I learned to love the pageantry of the games, as well as the love for your country, and ultimately the world, that everyone shows during these few weeks.

I love that they conduct the ceremonies in French before they do it in English. Mom says it's because "French is such and international language." Pffffffffft. No. It's because the Headquarters is in Switzerland, which is a country that speaks French. Also, Jaques Count Rogge was born in Belgium. Which is another French-speaking country. (Note: The two languages used in the Ceremony for the games are French, and then English. If the host country doesn't speak either French or English, then they also add the host country's language. Just thought you all should know.)

Men's Swimming. Speedos and muscles. Enough said.

These three things are my favorite things about the Summer Olympics. Just to let you all know, I'll be rooting for USA primarily (mostly concerning Women's Gymnastics and Men's Swimming), but also Canada, Greece, Russia, Poland, Austria, and of course, the host country, Great Britain. I always have a soft spot for the host country. Oh, also Croatia. It's a really pretty country; I've been and want to go back.

Now, this is a diabetes blog. I can totally see you all reading the above text and saying "Okay, that's dandy. What the heck does it have to do with diabetes?" Well, you bet your glucometer I'm gonna tell you. So, here's the question: What the Olympic Games, the highest honor in the sports world, have to do with diabetes, a crap-tastic disease that makes everyone who comes in contact with it miserable?

Diabetes is a sport. You start out at any sport, and you're not very good. Diabetes is the same way. You start out managing it, and you constantly fall on your face, hit yourself in the butt with the bat, or take a ball to the crotch. But, you've got people on the sidelines who love you, people who coach you, push you to your limits, and make you better. And slowly but surely, you become a champion. You become better than you ever even thought was possible.

And it takes years of practice. You have really bad days, and you have days where you feel on top of the world. It's the most amazing feeling to see the control get tighter, your A1c getting better, your endocrinologist dancing when she sees how well you've been doing.

And you know what? An Olympian is an Olympian is an Olympian. It doesn't matter if you're Michael Phelps, going into his third Olympics, currently holds sixteen medals (fourteen gold, and two bronze), holds the record for most gold medals won at a single Olympics, won the most medals out of any athlete at both Athens and Beijing, and is setting out to win the most Olympic medals ever (he only needs two more, but something tells me he'll earn a lot more than that). It doesn't matter. The fact is, you made it. Just because you came in fourth, and don't have a gold, silver, or bronze to show for it, doesn't make you a loser. It makes you an Olympian. You're FOURTH in the ENTIRE WORLD. Think about it this way: Michael Phelps has eight gold medals to lose. He has eight world titles to defend. But if you came in fourth, you have four years to get to the top of your game, and to make yourself better. You have still have time to enjoy, and relish in that win. It's a tear-jerking moment for you, and everyone involved in your journey to the top. But for Michael Phelps? It's a sigh of relief. He's holding his title for another four years.

Just because you don't have an A1c of 6.2% doesn't make you a loser. It just gives you a lot of room for improvement. If your A1c is always 6.2%, you have to hold your breath every time you go to the endocrinologist's office because you don't want to let anyone down by letting it get higher. But if you're at a 9.5%, and three months later you're at a 7.8%? There's celebrating. There's dancing. There are tears. And it's all worth it, right in that second.

Tonight, I leave you with this quote by Al Oerter, a four-time Olympic champion from the USA. "I didn't set out to beat the world; I set out to do my absolute best."

And the Success of the Day is...

...I wore real pants! Let me clarify a little bit. I have been wearing real pants since my back surgery happened a week ago (this time last week, I was laying in a hospital bed, getting a morphine drip, and watching Despicable Me with my Dad). I swear to you, I've been wearing pants. They've just been yoga pants and scrubs. Which, by the way, are going to be the pants I wear FOREVER. I have two pairs of navy blue scrubs, and I want to buy like, six more pairs online in different colors. If you're looking for really great, comfortable, and lightweight pants, GET YOURSELF SOME SCRUBS. I really love them, and seem like I'm plugging scrubs now. Onto the second topic of this evening!

Cookies! I love cookies. They're probably the best things ever, besides cupcakes. But ever since I've had celiac and been gluten free, I've been eating cookies from the WOW Baking Company. They're probably the most delicious cookies ever, but they're super expensive when I buy them at Fred Meyer's and Metropolitan Market. I went to this store, called GF Joe's out in Tacoma, and I was eyeing the cookie section the second I walked in there, but because I was with other people out in public, I didn't run screaming "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES" the moment I walked in the store. Instead, I sauntered up and down the aisles, looking at all the different flours, pastas, and gluten free deliciousness that was in the store.

The food there was amazing. I bought (well, Dad bought it, but I picked it out!) raviolis, and four or five different types of pasta, macaroni and cheese, and those nutella pouches that I was talking about.

And a cookie. Specifically, this cookie:

This cookie was amazing. It was sugary, and awesome, and I almost fell off my seat. AND IT WAS A DOLLAR CHEAPER HERE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE EVER. (At this point, I'd like to apologize for this entire blog post being me basically plugging stuff. IT'S ALL SO FANTASTIC AND EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IT) This cookie was amazing. All their cookies are amazing, really. I've never had the Oregon Oatmeal, but I'm sure for those of you who like oatmeal cookies, it's fabulous and you'll have to tell me if you like it. 

I have to say, the suckiest thing about being a diabetic with celiac is the FOOD. Before I went to Florida, I went TWO ENTIRE YEARS without gluten free raviolis. And when I didn't have celiac, I didn't have them very often. But they're delicious. So unbelievably delicious. And all the gluten free bread, pasta, and pretty much anything that's gluten free has more carbohydrates and is more expensive than all the regular stuff. It's really annoying. 

But, this cookie. Erhmahgerd this cookie. It was fabulous. 

Much love, 

Alexa

Forgive Me, I've Been Drugged Off My Kiester

I'm sorry I abandoned you all! I had back surgery on Thursday, so I do have an excuse. And until Monday I was totally filled to the brim with oxycodone. Which is probably the most evil of all narcotic drugs ever. It's a downer, so it slows all the body processes down. It also gave me the hiccups.

I'm recovering from surgery nicely and efficiently, and starting to get back on a semi normal schedule. Meaning I'm not taking pain pills, so I'm sleeping normally again. I'm also walking a ton in order to heal. It's really not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it's getting better. I'm kind of enjoying milking the injury though :)

There is news, that I absolutely love to share with the world. My awesome cousin Stephanie and her husband Clayton have produced an heir ;) 

(I love that the flower is bigger than her head)

She's pretty much the cutest thing to ever grace the Earth. I'm thrilled for the two of them, and can't wait until I get to hold her and kiss her and love on her and save her future boyfriends after her Daddy, Grampa, and Great Uncle Don (aka my Daddy) beat the tar out of them like the awesome big cousin that I am.

Also, big news! After a really crappy A1c of 9.5 in April, my A1c after this appointment is 7.8! We're all going to rejoice, and dance, and kiss people. It's allowed. My A1c is awesome, kissing is appropriate in this situation. 

So, two moments of great news in my life, and I'm recovering, so that's an even bigger plus! Also, I found nutella-like stuff in squeeze pouches. I think I'm set for life. 

Hope everyone had an awesome week while I was away, fixing myself.  <3

Much love, 

Alexa

"Oh my God; Katelyn, look at her doll!"

Well hello there, everyone!

I said today's title in the hotel at the Orlando World Center Marriott while waiting for Hannah to show up. Katelyn, Jacob, his brother Nicholas and I were all waiting in the lobby, just standing by the entrance. I was looking at every person who passed through the entrance, hoping it would be Hannah. I saw this girl walk in with an American Girl Doll, and because I went through that phase as a kid, and ever since then, I've taken notice of every person carrying an American Girl Doll that I pass--anywhere.

But this doll was different. This little girl's doll had something on her arm. When I went to investigate--very sneakily, I assure you ;)--I noticed that the doll had a DexCom sensor!

I freaked. I grabbed Katelyn's arm, and said "Oh my God; Katelyn, look at her doll!" "Who?" "That little girl over there! Her American Girl Doll has a sensor!" "Ooo! Where!?" "In line to check into the hotel!"

It was the coolest thing I'd seen all week. If I had a sensor and an insulin pump when I was still into American Girl Dolls, I would've gone crazy for a pump and sensor for my two dolls. It was so cool!

So I went up to this little girl with the doll, and her mother, and her sister, and of course, Kelly Kunik ran up behind me and said to the girls' mother "Are you Bean's mom?" "I am, are you Kelly?" "I am!" And there was a lot of hugging and talking that was very confusing.

I learned that this little girl's mom was a blogger, who blogged about her daughter's diabetes. Her daughter Bean had type one, and then she also had another daughter who is called Bug. This is a picture of me and Bean in the exhibit hall on Saturday during the conference:

Me and the Bean! I love this kid :)

I got down on my knees, and started talking to this girl, and learned that the doll not only had a DexCom, but an OmniPod as well! I talked with the family, and hugs went around. I ran into her several times during the week, and loved seeing her when I did. The great thing about CWD is that people don't just say hi, they hug it out. Every time I saw Bean or Bug, I got a giant hug and a high five, and we talked about how much fun they were having as first timers. I got to meet an amazing D-Mom, and I found a great new blog ( www.mysweetbeanandherpod.com ). Plus, I get to keep up with the goings-on of a really great family :)

I really hope Bean's family continues to be a part of the CWD family and comes back for FFL 2013. I'm looking forward to all the hugs already!

Much love, 

Alexa

"Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Good evening, Citizens of the World!

So, in order to add some context to this, I might want to mention that I freaking love The Big Bang Theory. It's probably the best show out there. And I'm watching it right now, and Sheldon is just hilarious. And when Leonard dropped a couch on Sheldon's fingers, and he said "Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch" I thought about my insulin pump. And when your insulin pump falls, or gets caught on something, all you want to do is scream.

As if today wasn't an enough of an annoying morning (the oxycodone made me nauseous, so I spend a good chunk of my morning praying to the porcelain gods), my pump fell off my pants today, and OH MY GOD I WANTED TO SCREAM. I hate when it falls off, period, but today it hurt especially! I'm pretty sure that the universe is conspiring against me to give me one giant smack in the face.

Anyways, I was walking into the kitchen to have some yogurt, and I had a space cadet moment, and was definitely going to eat yogurt with a fork. That's not exactly a good plan, or a clean one. So I went to get my own spoon. Mom offered to get it for me, but I'm stubborn and determined to be independent despite the fact that I need surgery to make my leg work again.

I should've let Mom get me the spoon.

There are very few things that put me in a lot of pain. I have a very high pain tolerance. The two things that I just can't stand are my left leg at the moment, and unexpectedly pulling a pump site. That's probably the most infuriating thing about diabetes. Okay, maybe not the most infuriating, but it's up there.

Today's post is a little short because I'm VERY tired and low, and hungry. I'm hungry too. So, off to the refrigerator!

Much love,
Alexa

It All Started In Disney World

Hello hopeless romantics and blog followers alike!

I'm going to take a little break from talking about me, and my back, and surgery, and all that crap and talk about two people who are very near and dear to my heart.

Katelyn and Jacob.

Katelyn and I met in 2006 at CWD, and then completely forgot about each other. We then met for the "first" time in 2007 at this super awesome advocacy event called Children's Congress. It's a JDRF sponsored event, and we became friends there. Then, three or so weeks later, we saw each other at CWD again in line at a Dex-4 glucose tab tasting event. We've been best friends ever since.

Jacob lives about six houses down from me. We met when we were young, and saw each other in passing for years. Then, Jacob was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago, and our mothers became friends, and we became friends. When I found out Jacob was going to CWD that year, the gears in my head started turning.

Katelyn had a string of really terrible boys in her life. And Jacob was just too sweet, and hadn't ever had a girlfriend before. I figured "Hey, Katelyn and Jacob would flirt with each other for a few days, and then be on their merry ways."

Boy was I wrong.

This is the two of them in July 2011, when they met. They're pretty much the cutest couple ever. 

These two are also from the year they met, and the first picture makes me look like a professional photographer. The second one makes them look like an old married couple. 

They parted ways that July, but thank goodness for CWD Seattle, because they got to see each other again. 

This is them on the Seattle Aquarium pier, being adorable. We went to the Seattle Aquarium, and it was kind of like their first date. With me being the third wheel. Which lately has been my specialty with these two!

We went to the Pike Place Market as the teen group, and they continued to be cute all over the place. 

There was a professional photographer there taking pictures for something, I don't really remember what, but I took this one because I thought it looked good. And they're cute :)

So they talked, and had their relationship, and fell in love, and here we are, a year later. And they're still cute as ever. 

I don't know exactly what they think, but I think that the best part of their relationship is that they're both diabetic. They both know what a low blood sugar feels like, and what a high blood sugar feels like, and how frustrating diabetes can be, and all the ins and outs and the complicated little details that you just can't grasp unless you're living with the disease 24/7. They've got matching pumps (hers is purple, his is blue), and one always has sugar if the other needs it. Their relationship is long distance, but they're stronger for it (and if Katelyn feels lazy and doesn't want to shave her legs, then she can. Which totally makes me jealous!). And they're one of the cutest couples ever. 

This is the two of them on the beach in Florida, being adorable, as usual. And of course, they look stunning all dressed up:

They are two of my favorite people in the entire world, and I'm really lucky to know them. And I think they're pretty lucky to have found each other. I hope one day I can be as happy as they are. And this love story got its beginning in the happiest place on Earth--Disney World! :)

All my love to you, and to them!

~Alexa

Ice Cream!

Hello!

So today, I've been napping pretty much around the clock. And yet, I'm still pretty tired. But I got to have the best entire food thing in the entire world. Ice cream!

I love ice cream, like you have no idea. It is absolutely the best entire thing in the entire world. And my favorite flavor? Ben and Jerry's Late Night Snack. I actually blogged about this a while back, saying that I wanted to try it. It's got potato chip pieces in it, and it's just delicious. And if I could, I would eat it EVERY SINGLE DAY for the rest of my life. I'm a big sweet and savory kind of person, so I like the contrast of flavors. In short, it's the best damn thing I've ever tasted in my entire life.

So I woke up this morning, and I was totally jonesin' for some ice cream. According to the ARNP, I'm supposed to walk three times a day for fifteen minutes. I don't know why, but that's what I'm supposed to do. I saw an incredible opportunity here. Mom and I talked for a while when I got up, I called my cousins, and after about two hours of being awake, Mom says to me "We have to go for a walk."

Well Mom, funny you should say that...

I asked really nicely, and lo and behold, we were headed to the little strip mall to walk around and get ice cream for the cripple! And the big bonus of the day? I had a coupon for a free ice cream of the same size, so I got to bring one home! Actually, right now, I'm eating another serving of Late Night Snack. So today, my food consumption has consisted of the following:

Breakfast- two coconut macaroons, and a cherry yogurt.

Lunch- sushi, and Late Night Snack

Dinner- pickles, and Late Night Snack

I've also been drinking diet snapple and dry vanilla bean soda all day too. I haven't had the healthiest day, but it's been pretty yummy, and the highest my sugar has been is about 151. Which is a great accomplishment seeing I've been standing for like, forty-five minutes total today. I feel good though, so that's all that matters. Today's biggest obstacle? Standing up to lock the back door before I fall asleep for the night ;)

Much love,
Alexa

You Learn Something New Every Day

And today I learned that oxycodone makes me extremely dizzy.

So first, an update on my back and leg. I'm going in for surgery on Thursday! It's going to relieve the pain, and the recovery time should be minimal. Basically, what the MRI said was that one of the disks in my back was bulging out against my spinal chord, and it was compressing it very severely. Because of this, my muscles and nerves in my left leg are deteriorating, and the only way to begin to reverse that is by removing the bulging part of my disk, thereby letting the spinal chord decompress, and making Alexa very happy! :D

But back to this oxycodone thing. The ARNP (Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner) at the office today looked at my MRI and said a bunch of stuff, and I got really overwhelmed and started bawling, and left the room, and cried a ton, just because I had no idea what the hell was going on. But when I left the office, Dad told me that I had to stop taking the naproxen that my pediatrician prescribed me, and I had to start taking oxycodone during the day, and something else at night (Something that's supposed to knock you out for nine hours. We'll see how that goes :P). Dad went to fill the prescription while I went to school and took care of some stuff on the computers before they get wiped on Sunday. I got back, and took the dose, and called my Aunt.

When I got off the phone, I felt low. I checked, but my sugar was 121, so I was confused. I then realized that I was dizzy because that's one of the side effects of oxycodone. I thought if I just laid down, it would go away. Fat chance. I've been feeling perpetually low since about four in the afternoon. First, it was really unsettling. Like, really? I'm gonna feel like I need to bite a chunk out of the house constantly, and I really feel like I'll walk into the wall before I eat it.

But then things got a little scary. I haven't wore my sensor since yesterday, because you can't wear any metal in the MRI machine, and I didn't know what sort of tests that I'd be getting today, so I just left it off until I knew. When I got home after the doctor, I didn't put it on, just because I was going to do it tonight. And that was probably a mistake. Before dinner, I checked my sugar and I was 63. Now, that's not TERRIBLY low, but it's kind of low. And if I hadn't been eating, I wouldn't have checked. And would've gone lower. I hooked up my sensor right after dinner, but I'm pretty worried.

I pride myself--if that's even the right way to say it--on being able to feel my lows. I don't think I've had a sneaky low in a long time. I guess I'm just in for a rough six days. Woo hoo, right?

So I'm gonna go be dizzy and watch Ice Age 2 until I fall asleep. Have a good night :)

Much love,
Alexa

Oh Hey There, Diabetes! Didn't see you there!

I have to say, I love Florida. I love the heat, I love Disney, and I love FFL. But this cracked me up:

Yes, I have my very first sensor tan!

I know, amusing. I took the sensor off for my MRI today, cause you can't bring any metal into the machine, seeing as it's a giant magnet. So I took it out, and went upstairs to take a shower. And I caught this at a glance in the mirror. Truth be told, I wouldn't have noticed it if I had taken a shower before the sensor came off. 

I looked at it, and just laughed my butt off. I mean seriously? I thought the clear tape would be clear enough to let UV rays through and just leave a little circle tan where the white sensor tape sits. But noooooooooo. Let's leave a big, giant, pale square. That's cool too. 

Another "Hello, Diabetes!" moment I had today was when I non-D friend sent me an episode of 16 and Pregnant, and then told me to watch it, and then watch the finale thing online. Now, I'm not a reality TV kind of girl. But because she was so sincere about it, I watched it. And I was like yeah, okay this Mackenzie chick is a cheerleader, blah blah blah. Her son has an out of the ordinary name, blah blah blah. And then, I finished it and was like "what the hell did I just waste an hour for?" I reluctantly watched the finale thing, and saw that Mackenzie Douthit has type one diabetes. And I'm pretty sure I almost shit bricks. I had to pause the video and rewind it a few times before it really sunk it. I stopped watching, cause frankly I didn't care about any of the other girls at that moment. My biggest question was why didn't she mention it in her episode. I mean, why? I don't know what I would've done, but I feel like I would've mentioned it, and talked about it a lot. I mean, she had a ten pound baby. Last time I checked, ten pounds is pretty damn heavy! And then there's the whole "Your A1c is supposed to be under 6.5% if you're going to try to conceive."

I don't know about Mackenzie, but I'm 16 and my A1c isn't anywhere near 6.5%. Just sayin'. Now, in no way, shape, or form am I judging her. I think she's amazing. I guess I just wish she'd said something during her episode, maybe to scare the diabetic audience or something. 

Actually, I really don't know where I was going with that. I just thought it was different. Maybe because I tell everyone in my life that I'm type one diabetic. Who knows?

ALSO: My MRI went super well. Instead of being an hour, like my Dad, Mom, chiropractor, massage therapist at the chiropractor's office, and the receptionist at the medical imaging office said, it was about twenty minutes! I was still in tons of pain at the end of it, but I got to hook my iPad up to a speaker system, and listen to my music. And I also got to put an ice pack on my back, and semi-elevate my feet. So it wasn't absolutely terrible, but I didn't enjoy it either. They also gave me a DVD, so maybe I'll post pictures of my insides!

Much love, 

Alexa

I'm Just a Walking Hospital Check-In Waiting to Happen!

Colleen, you've heard this PLENTY of times. And maybe a few of my other friends, D and non-D have heard it too. But today, I'm seriously considering just paralyzing myself from the waist down and calling it a day.

That statement needs a little bit of background history, doesn't it?

So in May, I messed up my back. Like, really badly. And I did it by coughing. I was talking REALLYREALLYFASTLIKETHISANDALLMYWORDSCAMEOUTALLATONCEANDIDIDN'THAVEANYAIRINMYLUNGS and I coughed. And a really painful spasm went down the lower half of my back, and I hit the ground. And so for about a month, I rolled around my dinky little suitcase instead of a backpack, and I took care of it (my back, not the suitcase) like I was supposed to. But then, at the end of June, I started having excruciating pain in my left leg. It was unforgiving, constant, and just a giant pain in the ass--literally. I went to Florida with this pain. I had my sixteenth birthday with this pain. I got on FOUR planes with this pain. And at this point, I can't really walk straight, or put much weight on my bad leg. I'd get pushed in a wheelchair, but I can't sit down without wanting to cry.

So, yesterday, I went to see a chiropractor. And PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY hold your "doctor versus chiropractor" jokes. Because I've made all of them. Trust me ;) But I went to see a chiropractor, and he said "I want to know what I'm dealing with before I make any adjustments to your back, so you need to get an MRI."

Which is responsible.

BUT IT'S ALSO FREAKING PAINFUL. I am seriously hurting over here! I had like, a ten minute massage after I met with the chiropractor, which relieved the pain for about forty-five minutes. AND THEN IT STARTED HURTING AGAIN.

Which is why I'd just like to throw the towel in and not feel anything below my butt. Walking isn't important, right?

So in about an hour, I've got to go get in a metal tube, and lay still for a whole entire hour. And I've never been really good at the whole being still thing. I need SOMETHING to fidget with. Move my fingers. Text someone. Type on a keyboard. It's almost impossible for me to sit still for a whole entire hour. Thank God for Matt, because I'm retarded and didn't think of the whole "occupying your mind" deal when I was in sheer panic about sitting still for an hour. And plus, I don't know if I'm claustrophobic or not. Yay for that.

So, wish me luck, and I'll see you on the other side!

Much love,
Alexa

And we're back...

So we abandoned you. Whoops...

Hannah and I are REALLY really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry about leaving you without your daily does of divabetic for over a year. We got busy, and sick, and became sophomores, and got boyfriends, and broke up with said boyfriends (more on that drama later, because let's face it, there is NOTHING better than a great break up story) and took lots of final exams and passed French class, and are now juniors! Yay for us!

Hannah and I saw each other for the first time since July 2010 last week. And this is what that looks like:

Hannah is the one where you can actually see her face. I'm the one where my sensor is falling off (which, by the way, it totally did fall off). Our friend Katelyn is in the background, and I think she looks great, even though she thinks that she "is a train wreck in it."

I really need to apologize a bunch more, but I'd rather plug FFL like a pro first. For those of you who don't know what CWD or FFL is, let me explain. Children with Diabetes is a giant diabetes love-fest. Everyone there either has diabetes, is a sibling of someone who has diabetes, is a parent of someone who has diabetes, is a CDE (certified diabetes educator) or an RN or someone who works with diabetes on a regular basis. Or they can be a combination of any or all of the above. There are conferences held all over the country (and the world) and people make it out from everywhere to be at these things. There are conferences in Philadelphia, Seattle, Vancouver BC, Toronto, Cincinnati, and other cities all over the globe. But there's this end all, be all conference. It's in Orlando every year, and it's the BEST WEEK OF THE ENTIRE YEAR. And it's called FFL, which is short for Friends For Life. And here, you really do make friends for life. Case and point, Miss Hannah and I are planning on being best friends forever. And then there's Katelyn, and Hunter, and Jess, and Mary Claire, and Delaney, and Michela, and Sara and everyone else. We all just...get it. I don't really know how to explain it if you don't have diabetes, but it's there. Everyone else just knows. There's really nothing else to say, I guess. Usually I can vocalize how I feel, but CWD really puts me at a loss for words. These are some of the adventures we go on:

 (Me, with Hunter, Sara, and Jess)

(The Divabetics in their shirts! These were a huge hit)

I also met some great people. I met the amazing Bean, her sister Bug, and her mom over at www.mysweetbeanandherpod.com and those kids are the most adorable kids in the entire world :) I hung out with Kelly Kunik over at diabetesaliciousness.blogspot.com and got to talk to Natalie Bellini and Jill Benchell, two of the most amazing women in the entire world. 

If you'd like more information on Children with Diabetes, contact us via our blog, or go to www.childrenwithdiabetes.com and explore the site. 

Well, we're back! 

Much love, 

Alexa :)