Monday, April 25, 2011

A Flaw in the System

Good evening, people of the blogosphere!

Hey :) So, I've been thinking, what's one of the most annoying things about my insulin pump? It's not the site changes, it's not hiding my tubing (or, as we call it in my family, my wire) either.

It's hiding it.

I wear a skirt, every weekday. It's part of my uniform. And underneath, I wear a pair of shorts with pockets. I put my insulin pump in my pocket, but there's this awkward bulge on my hip where the skirt hits the pump, and it's just a mess.

So, my cousin is getting married, and she lovingly asked her favorite baby cousin to be a bridesmaid (Thanks Steph <3) Now, I tried on the dress. And when you wear a bridesmaid dress, you really can't wear jean shorts underneath, can you? No, didn't think so. So (and boys, prepare for things to get intense) I had to try to find different places to put it. And I tried everything short of duct taping the pump to my stomach. But, the idea I came up with was putting my beloved insulin pump in my cleavage. I seem to remember a conversation at the diabetes conference with Katelyn and Delaney. "Well, if you can hide it there, then by all means, do it!"

So it's totally hidden. But I've got to say, that's definitely not my favorite task of pump maintenance. What's your least favorite? Comment below!

Much love,

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Feeling Better

Okay, I'm in a much better mood than I was last night (thank you everyone who helped me out today!). This morning was a hard one. I woke up with pain absolutely radiating throughout my whole entire body. I had to lie in bed for five extra minutes in order to get things together.

My whole body hurts still, but it's gotten better. My blood sugars have been actually pretty great today, which is kinda surprising. I expected to have a bit of a high blood sugar day, but I was most certainly happy about good numbers.

The one funny thing that's come out of the whole "broken blood vessel/tapped nerve/infusion set calamity" situation. There's a bruise on my booty. And it's shaped like the Greek island of Crete. Which is really, really amusing. I love it, actually. I feel kinda like Kari, who has distinctly shaped bruises all the time.

So, this was kind of an additive to last night's post, seeing as I didn't post very much last night. I just also wanted to say thank you all very much. All of you, the readers who are so loyal, and the followers who take time to comment. I love you so much, and I know Hannah does too.

Much love,

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

"That's hellish" "That's diabetes"

Those three photos sum up my night. I was being a good little divabetic, and I changed my site after the allotted three days. 

But nothing ever goes right. I bled through the catheter, through the actual site, and through the tube. And I think I hit a nerve or something, because I still have waves of pain radiating through my body.

That's diabetes though. It's painful, it's gut wrenching, and it's hard. But the thing is, I'd rather have some temporary pain that lasted a couple hours, than be in and out of the hospital with DKA.

I know this is a short post, but I think the pictures speak a lot louder than words ever could.

Much love,

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Good, the Bad, and the Diabetes

I would be lying if I said diabetes wasn't the most important thing in my life. It's not just a disease, it's a lifestyle for a select group of people. Diabetes has so many highs and lows (pun intended)that sometimes it can drive a person to feel the craziest things. Sometimes, you can't control those feelings and it gets you into sticky situations. Then those situations come back to bite you in the butt.

Those of you who know what I'm talking about, congratulations. My hat goes off to you for being super amazing and dealing with something a person shouldn't deal with. Not everybody has to count carbs, or change sites. Not everybody has to wake up at 3:00 in the morning to poke they're finger(that has no feeling left in it). Most people don't have to apologize for having a high bloodsugar and manipulating someone else's feelings (okay so not every diabetic has to do that but I can name a few).

It's those situations that make a diabetic different than a "normal person". But a normal person can't imagine what it's like to be diabetic. For all those people, consider yourself lucky. I'd give anything to be in your shoes. But that's never going to happen. So for now, I'll say farewell, and apologize if this post seems completely random. It makes sense if you're in my shoes.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Just a thought...

Okay, so after I posted yesterday, I had this funny experience.

My house phone started ringing, my facebook chat notification went off six times, my cell phone vibrated, and my pump vibrated. We're drowned in a world of beeps, buzzes, clicks, and tones.

I mean right now, I'm sitting in the physics lab at my school. There's no one here, I just came down to the basement for some quiet, and Mr. Sidman's room was open. I've got Phoenix playing softly in the background, and the keys are clicking madly as I type. There's a soft lull of pipes coming through the ceiling, and every once in a while, the rubber of my shoe squeaks against the metal of the lab stool.

Sounds are precious, something that I have had trouble hearing in the last few years because of the diabetes. My sense of touch is completely gone in my finger tips, but more on that later. I've got to be careful about the world around me not getting too loud, because there's one sound that I always have to be able to hear (and I guess feel, if you want to really think about it)

My insulin pump. It's my best friend, my pancreas, and my life. I don't have the usual beeping noise that I had in elementary school, and the beginning of middle school. Mine vibrates, because I don't like when it interrupts classes and stuff like that.

I've got to make sure it's something that I can hear though. Because if I miss an alarm, that could be a problem. I've got the alarms set for a reason, and they're nice and helpful. Or, the one that I most commonly miss is the one that says you have a low battery. I'll miss it, and then like two days later, I'll be completely dead, and then we're in trouble.

So, the point? Listen to the fun stuff, close your eyes and observe with your ears. Listen to the heat from the pipes rushing through the building to your left, and the music trickling out of your computer from in front of you. But don't forget what's important. Make sure you hear the movement of your lifeline, or the shift of the cellphone in your pocket.

Who knows? It might be the phone call (or the low battery alarm) that could change your life.

Much love,

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Kiss Me, I'm Diabetic!

Okay, so I know you're supposed to say "kiss me, I'm Irish" but I'm not. I'm diabetic. And the point of this post is not because I want to be kissed (I mean, I do. But that's not what I'm posting about). No, the point of this post is about mood swings and blood sugars.

So class, raise your hands if you get emotional when you have a low or a high. When my blood sugar dips below 60, I want to start crying. There's no reason at all, I get that prickly feeling in my eyes, and that tight feeling in my throat. I don't usually start crying, but there are times when I'm like "I cannot get food in my body fast enough. I want to collapse right here, right now." And that's about when the tears start rolling.

Now class, does anyone laugh uncontrollably if there's a low blood sugar? Haha yeah. I do that. I seem to recall one math class last year when I was positively insane with laughter (Allie and Grace, you remember?) just because my blood sugar was like, 49 or something like that. Actually, looking back, that was pretty funny :)

Final question, my lovely readers. When you have a low, or a high, do you get super irritable? When I've got either a low or high, I'll get irritable. Really irritable. Like, I snap at my mom, or I'll lose my brain for a second there and say something super sarcastic that I'd never say if I was in my right mind.

But, back to the "Kiss me, I'm diabetic!"

I know myself. I know a lot of my diabetic friends would say the same thing. "I'm not usually like this. I'm usually really sweet." And it's true. Generally, diabetic people are sweet, sometimes we're even sweeter than the non-diabetic people out there. We're so sweet, we just can't control our insulin :P When your blood sugar is off, nothing is the same. Your body feels different, your brain feels different, it all feels strange. But you know, that's not the normal for any of us.

Besides, who wouldn't want to kiss someone this sweet?

Much love,

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Blood Sugars

Okay, so this is a pretty generic post when it comes to diabetes, but my blood sugars, instead of being all over the place, are pretty leveled out. (I'm throwing a little party over here, in my head, to celebrate the amazing occasion)

And you know the funny thing is? I haven't really done much. I mean, I check a little more often and I'm in a better mood than usual, but I'm still eating my favorite foods, and I'm still sitting on my behind posting for all of you guys. It's also spring break, so I'm not at school being a dignified, plaid-skirt wearing teenager and getting into all sorts of shenanigans with my girls (Garnet <3).

But I've got to say, I want these blood sugars to stay good. I mean, who doesn't want to feel this amazing all the time. I haven't had anything above 199, and nothing below 78. And that's been going on for three straight days. And these past three days I've enjoyed everything just a little bit more. It may also have something to do with the fact that I'm on vacation, in Eugene Oregon, and I'm having a great time (I'm with one of the members of my diabetes team, Ari, and we're having a blast).

My only problem with Eugene has to be the fact that NO ONE knows what celiac is. I mean, I tried to get some food at the hotel that I'm staying at, and there's NOTHING. The salads all have dressings with soy sauce (something that, surprisingly, is not made out of soy) and croutons, and there's nothing. Absolutely nothing. I mean, we had to order a salad that had the dressing on the side, no croutons, and bleu cheese (for those of you who don't know, I hate bleu cheese with a burning passion).

And back to the whole "no one has a clue" thing. You say; "I have celiac, so you have anything on the menu that's gluten free?"

They look at you like you have three heads.

I mean really? Is it that hard to just say "I'm sorry, I've never heard of celiac, or gluten. Would you explain this to me please?"

But, I am not letting this detract from my amazing weekend, and my amazing blood sugars! This'll get figured out and I'll be happy, and like I said before, it'll be all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows (that's how this refrain goes).

Much love,

Thursday, April 7, 2011

And the Battles keep waging...

I am a terrible person.

I have abandoned you all, and I am super duper sorry for that. I wish I had like, three hours I could devote each day to blogging for you all. But alas, I don't. And I should've been blogging every single day this week, seeing as I'm on Spring Break. But of course, I'm 14 and can barely keep my pump on straight.

So, as some of you may (or may not) know, I am one of the 25% of diabetics that is fortunate enough to have both celiac disease and diabetes. For those of you who don't know, celiac is when your body is intolerant to gluten. It's a lot of work to manage both. But of course, I had my GI appointment on Tuesday. While my mother and my gastroenterologist discussed the interpreter services at the clinic (my mom works for a different branch of the same organization), I brought up two things that were really bothering me.

Milk. I can't drink a glass of milk anymore. It makes my stomach hurt, not as severely as it would if I was biting into a big slice of cake, but it's still uncomfortable. The odd thing is, I can eat ice cream. I can eat cheese, and yogurt. It's straight-from-a-cow milk, and sour cream that make my stomach whirl.

Iron. My doctor thinks that I may be iron deficient. I went in on Friday for blood work, and it was the fasting stuff where I couldn't eat for a whole bunch of time before. And when I was stuck with the needle and the blood started flowing, I started seeing stars. Pretty soon, I was retching, and thinking "If there's nothing there, why do I feel like I'm going to toss my cookies?"

My labs were processed today to check for the iron deficiency, and I got some advice on low-lactose foods. Everything is manageable, nothing life-changing. I'll probably be on an iron supplement, and I'll have to watch for milk at the breakfast table.

I know there's really nothing to be upset about, and that it's very much tolerable. But does anyone else out there realize how much I just want to *head-desk* right now?! (For those of you who don't know Rachael and her slang, *head-desk* is when you put your forehead to a desk or table of some sort) I mean, come on people! I've been diabetic since I was 14 months old, and have had celiac for not even a year. I'm just rather miffed that there are two other things to chalk up to the list.

Anyways, this isn't for me to complain. I'll keep you all posted :) And I'll post more often, again, I am so sorry about that.

Much MUCH love,
Alexa <3