Thursday, July 12, 2012

I'm Just a Walking Hospital Check-In Waiting to Happen!

Colleen, you've heard this PLENTY of times. And maybe a few of my other friends, D and non-D have heard it too. But today, I'm seriously considering just paralyzing myself from the waist down and calling it a day.

That statement needs a little bit of background history, doesn't it?

So in May, I messed up my back. Like, really badly. And I did it by coughing. I was talking REALLYREALLYFASTLIKETHISANDALLMYWORDSCAMEOUTALLATONCEANDIDIDN'THAVEANYAIRINMYLUNGS and I coughed. And a really painful spasm went down the lower half of my back, and I hit the ground. And so for about a month, I rolled around my dinky little suitcase instead of a backpack, and I took care of it (my back, not the suitcase) like I was supposed to. But then, at the end of June, I started having excruciating pain in my left leg. It was unforgiving, constant, and just a giant pain in the ass--literally. I went to Florida with this pain. I had my sixteenth birthday with this pain. I got on FOUR planes with this pain. And at this point, I can't really walk straight, or put much weight on my bad leg. I'd get pushed in a wheelchair, but I can't sit down without wanting to cry.

So, yesterday, I went to see a chiropractor. And PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY hold your "doctor versus chiropractor" jokes. Because I've made all of them. Trust me ;) But I went to see a chiropractor, and he said "I want to know what I'm dealing with before I make any adjustments to your back, so you need to get an MRI."

Which is responsible.

BUT IT'S ALSO FREAKING PAINFUL. I am seriously hurting over here! I had like, a ten minute massage after I met with the chiropractor, which relieved the pain for about forty-five minutes. AND THEN IT STARTED HURTING AGAIN.

Which is why I'd just like to throw the towel in and not feel anything below my butt. Walking isn't important, right?

So in about an hour, I've got to go get in a metal tube, and lay still for a whole entire hour. And I've never been really good at the whole being still thing. I need SOMETHING to fidget with. Move my fingers. Text someone. Type on a keyboard. It's almost impossible for me to sit still for a whole entire hour. Thank God for Matt, because I'm retarded and didn't think of the whole "occupying your mind" deal when I was in sheer panic about sitting still for an hour. And plus, I don't know if I'm claustrophobic or not. Yay for that.

So, wish me luck, and I'll see you on the other side!

Much love,

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